Oh, girl, let your hair down low
All over me, yeah,
I want you all over me. Climb on now, hard and fast
Just let me cram in as many sexual innuendos as I can,
And they’ll play it on the radio
They’ll play it to little ones who I’ll mold into one of my very own
Say, who cares if this song don’t rhyme
I just wanna cash in on other girls’ insecurities
Most of them barely even hit puberty
Oh well, we say, this shit sells
Why make the world a little better when
You can make it look ugly?
We’ll make the little girls hate themselves and,
Yeah, we’ll think it’s funny
I know sex sells and
I’m so original for using it in my lyrics, who’d have thought that’s the way to make
I know it’s disgusting, so please go ahead
Go ahead and tell yourself you hate it
That you abhor it, that it’s wrong
But you’ll still watch it, buy it, and get it to the charts,
Buy it, Buy it, and let your daughter paste it all over her bedroom walls in sparkly little hearts
I may be an image, a brand, and a lie
But only I have the power to make your baby girl cry.
Cry my name and shout it, scream it, blast it through the walls
Go and buy her that cake with my face on it
For I’m the only thing she adores
She’ll find other boys soon to give her a big fat diamond ring
But for now I hold the key, the key, yes, the key
to screw with her own insignificant self worth
I’ll shape her own perception of herself,
And make her feel lost when she realises that she can never,
Ever be with the construct that defines itself as ‘me’.
Recently, our house was astounded and in awe when one of our roommates came home with a snuggly, soft-to-the-touch-and-everything BEAR ONESIE. She bought it fairly cheaply, from where she works at Dunelm Mill, the posh department store. I have never been there, so therefore it must be quite posh, I assume. She works within the curtain department so I don’t know how she got to wandering down the snuggly bear onesie aisles.
Maybe they sell those as curtains. I don’t know. They would certainly keep the heat in. Although they’re so warm and cuddlesome I may have to resort to climbing up the windows, with people coming home and having to detach me from the vertical position of sleeping upon the said shut curtains. …
We loved her onesie so very much, that immediately, we started pestering (demanding, more like) that next time she was working SHE BUY ALL OF US ONE EACH. We paid her, of course. Now, in the house we have:
1) A dark chocolate female bear
2) A light brown chocolate coloured male bear
3) A deep, rich purple also male bear
4) A white chocolate female bear – which is me!
For better visual imagination, here’s a photo of the bear clan:
Don’t we just look awesome?
They’re so toasty that you barely even need the heating on – and being students – we don’t like to spend money on heating and gas when we don’t have to. It’s brilliant. The hot water bottle can go out the window too … figuratively speaking.
It’s great. I honestly never knew being a bear could be so much fun.