Here’s where the story arcs

You are as light as the atmosphere above the clouds, light and springy and always fresh.
You’re where I hold the chain to my locket, where both our hearts are kept and where they beat in sync, together, one, two, one, two. To me, truly, you’re as bright and shiny as a star reaching across space, rising up and falling down across the galaxies, sparkling like a new sun burning bright in all the chaos of the universe. It makes me laugh and you won’t ever admit it but you’re about as mad as a comic genius and I know you pretty much are one too. Just don’t get too crazy on me. I don’t know whether I can live through that.

Sometimes, you’re as easy as an upside down open paged book to read, full of squiggly lines and with almost all of the words inside it written in German, Icelandic or a language that only people of a far away land can speak. Sometimes I don’t understand you and sometimes we’re almost the same person. And that’s okay. And I know that right now, where you are, you’re a busy, striving caterpillar, dreaming big dreams and all wrapped inside your very own accommodated cocoon. You’re so hell bent on giving it all your might to turn into that beautiful butterfly we both know you’ll one day turn out to be.

I’m scared for you and sometimes, towards me, you can be as cool and startlingly cruel as a solid sheath of ice, hardened and with a piercing glare that can sometimes scare me. You’re like the sun, sometimes too bright for your own good. You’re locked, baby, perilously inside a turreted, high glaciated castle, its windows and doors barred for me to get in. But I can melt away your troubles and your icy glares with a wave of my wand, my hands, and pray that it’s magic and hope that one day you’ll come back to me in a world where we can be once more together, where we can finally, again, be us.

Because this world is so lonely without you.

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We keep this love in a photograph

I’m not a crazy manic ‘buy-all-the-albums’ fan of Ed Sheeran. I appreciate his music and some of it really does strike a chord with me when I want it to. When his new album ‘X’ came out I wasn’t too fussed and just let the music come to me naturally and accidentally rather than actually seek it out like so many other fans do.

I’m not one of those fans.

But, recently, it’s started to dawn on me that by the end of the summer my long-term boyfriend will have upped and gone away – that is, to university. Like me, he wants to write for a living.

I’m – actually – really proud that he’s going, so he can do what he wants to do instead of staying here for me and resenting me for it years later. I’m no fortune teller but there’s a strong chance that would’ve happened if he’d stayed.

I’ve seen flashes of it appear sometimes and I don’t want to be that person who holds him back while I do all the things we both want to do, like write.

Now, Ed Sheeran’s song ‘Photograph’ really causes all kinds of emotions to flutter precariously around my chest, to hover over my heart and, in turn, make my eyes glaze over whenever I listen to this song. Ed Sheeran’s ability to make you just stop and think – and really listen to the words he’s singing is, to me, incredible. Not many artists can do that lately for me.

I really miss the feeling of being so in-the-moment with a song that it’s special when it happens to me now.

The song ‘Photograph’ is so much about being in love. I find that the musical arrangement along with the lyrical quality is something extremely difficult to define because it’s so good. But, for me, right now, being in love is all I know and all I want to be in, so I feel confident in defining it as perfect.

I think music has the ability to make you become part of another world and, for me, that largely gives me the ability to write and just to feel something when I write. Writing teen fiction deals with a lot of feelings and, almost always, with love. Heartbreak, lust, loss, and all that kind of emotional stuff that nobody wants to deal with after they’re a teenager – because it just hurts too much.

So I’m grateful that ‘Photograph’ can enable me to feel something like that; the way it can help define the idea of love for me. It enables me to really see what’s important and that, whenever I listen to it, I will stop and think and those thoughts will lead me to my long-term boyfriend, because he’s really just so special to me.

 

And if you hurt me
That’s okay baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won’t ever let you go
Wait for me to come home

You can fit me
Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen
Next to your heartbeat where I should be
Keep it deep within your soul

As well as that, I love that by writing teen fiction I get to second-handedly experience these emotions that my characters will go through and I’ll get to grow with them, passing on to them my own experiences and they’ll let me be a part of theirs too.

I think this line in the song really defines teen fiction for me, both as a reader and a writer and I love that I’ve been able to find it:

‘Only words bleed inside these pages’

This song is really special because it enables me to see life in so many different ways, from potentially varying perspectives. I love it and for it to be so rich in meaning and emotions I know I’ll hold it dear to me for a very, very long time.

‘Photograph’ by Ed Sheeran. Go and listen to it.

This Love Was Ours

Recently, I wrote a poem and submitted it to a local broadcast radio show. I JUST got an email back saying they will broadcast my poem!
It’s about loving something, or someone, so much and so dear, when suddenly you find they’re not your own anymore and you’re having to struggle against the tide to hold onto them. And when you are holding on to them, they don’t love you anymore and everything just turns bitter. Love has gone wrong and love is now empty.

NOTE: I wrote this not about anyone I know personally, but about a singer-songwriter who I adored for some intense few years. Now, they’re a complete sellout and it makes me sad to see them like this now, all contemporary, cheap and fake compared to the beauty and richness of how they used to be. At least, that’s how I remember them to be.
Try and work out who the poem addresses if you wish.
Sadly, I can guarantee you will have heard of them.

This Love Was Ours

i loved you, back then
but now the love tastes bitter and scalded
i still think of you, all the time
of the days back when you were Mine

because there was a time,
when i used to run around Fearless,
knowing what we had was a perfect little
Love Story

your Starlight shined to me
and although i still remain Invisible to you
i’ll still forever adore you,
although your State of Grace has now fallen

i wanted you to stay forever sixteen,
i wanted you to Never Grow Up
i wanted you to Stay
Stay, Stay

The Way I Loved You was intense,
and so, so easy; Untouchable,
but jealousy has spiralled in and out,
and out of my control

you comforted a girl whose world had been shattered
around her by divorce, depression
and instability
you allowed her to Breathe

now i’m stuck, stuck on The Outside
where it’s bitter and cold
Treacherous, even
Everything Has Changed

so Long Live
those times I used to share with you
because they’re not my own anymore
and they were truly The Best Day(s)

And when I think Tim McGraw,
yes
of course
do think of you

It’s personal, it’s deep, and it’s cutting. I was in rather a melacholy state of sadness when I wrote it. I just wish they could read it too and see how much they mean to people when they change.