We keep this love in a photograph

I’m not a crazy manic ‘buy-all-the-albums’ fan of Ed Sheeran. I appreciate his music and some of it really does strike a chord with me when I want it to. When his new album ‘X’ came out I wasn’t too fussed and just let the music come to me naturally and accidentally rather than actually seek it out like so many other fans do.

I’m not one of those fans.

But, recently, it’s started to dawn on me that by the end of the summer my long-term boyfriend will have upped and gone away – that is, to university. Like me, he wants to write for a living.

I’m – actually – really proud that he’s going, so he can do what he wants to do instead of staying here for me and resenting me for it years later. I’m no fortune teller but there’s a strong chance that would’ve happened if he’d stayed.

I’ve seen flashes of it appear sometimes and I don’t want to be that person who holds him back while I do all the things we both want to do, like write.

Now, Ed Sheeran’s song ‘Photograph’ really causes all kinds of emotions to flutter precariously around my chest, to hover over my heart and, in turn, make my eyes glaze over whenever I listen to this song. Ed Sheeran’s ability to make you just stop and think – and really listen to the words he’s singing is, to me, incredible. Not many artists can do that lately for me.

I really miss the feeling of being so in-the-moment with a song that it’s special when it happens to me now.

The song ‘Photograph’ is so much about being in love. I find that the musical arrangement along with the lyrical quality is something extremely difficult to define because it’s so good. But, for me, right now, being in love is all I know and all I want to be in, so I feel confident in defining it as perfect.

I think music has the ability to make you become part of another world and, for me, that largely gives me the ability to write and just to feel something when I write. Writing teen fiction deals with a lot of feelings and, almost always, with love. Heartbreak, lust, loss, and all that kind of emotional stuff that nobody wants to deal with after they’re a teenager – because it just hurts too much.

So I’m grateful that ‘Photograph’ can enable me to feel something like that; the way it can help define the idea of love for me. It enables me to really see what’s important and that, whenever I listen to it, I will stop and think and those thoughts will lead me to my long-term boyfriend, because he’s really just so special to me.

 

And if you hurt me
That’s okay baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won’t ever let you go
Wait for me to come home

You can fit me
Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen
Next to your heartbeat where I should be
Keep it deep within your soul

As well as that, I love that by writing teen fiction I get to second-handedly experience these emotions that my characters will go through and I’ll get to grow with them, passing on to them my own experiences and they’ll let me be a part of theirs too.

I think this line in the song really defines teen fiction for me, both as a reader and a writer and I love that I’ve been able to find it:

‘Only words bleed inside these pages’

This song is really special because it enables me to see life in so many different ways, from potentially varying perspectives. I love it and for it to be so rich in meaning and emotions I know I’ll hold it dear to me for a very, very long time.

‘Photograph’ by Ed Sheeran. Go and listen to it.

My Writing Inspiration

Today I woke up to find a Facebook status by a course mate of mine and it had me teeming with jealousy. Then, once I got over that, it had me teeming with inspiration! She’s a lovely girl so I couldn’t deny her the credit (and praise!) that she deserves.

Her status was stating how she’d finished her novel manuscript and she was ready to send it out to publishers and hopefully gain an agent! Once I got over the whole jealousy thing (which didn’t actually last that long), I was actually really proud of her and instead of pitting myself against her, I’ve chosen to strive to reach what she’s accomplished!

A young writer who’s managed to write and finish a whole manuscript!

This is my aim. So all day I’ve been writing and editing my own manuscript. Now Lionel Shriver taught me that, for the most part, your first novel is not the one you get published. A lot of the time, the first novel you ever write is the one that will sit in the drawer (or your attic) and ‘never see the light of day’.

I’ve taken that on board and so I’ve decided to write a YA novel which I really do love but which is completely my own: one that I will write for myself and not worry about what the publisher wants and what kind of market it will go into. 

This novel is for me, and for my eyes only.

Overall, it doesn’t matter if it’s rubbish because only I can see it. I want to write one just to prove to myself I can write a whole novel. I know and read about plenty of people who have written a novel. So I know in my heart I can do it.

It is all about finding the time and the motivation.