A Feeble Writer

My self confidence is shaking enough on its own as it is. I fret over the notion of somebody standing over my shoulder, reading intently, scrutinising what I am about to commit to page from the bleak cave of my mind. I am a nervous writer, and with that inevitably comes a nervous disposition towards criticism. Criticism is part of it, but hopefully not from the ones I love. I want a critic to be faceless and unknown to me; that way, he cannot hurt me. But words are like knives, piercing and seizing up your muscles until you can no longer breathe. I’m forgetting why I wanted to be a writer in the first place: I used to write for me, but I fear I no longer can. I want my writing to be critiqued brilliantly, or softly at least. Maybe whispered at least on the small scale. Not brutally, with force enough to whip me in the face.

It is, to say the least, powerful what words can do. One day, I want to be the writer behind the words with power invested in them. But for now, I can only feel so feeble.

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2 thoughts on “A Feeble Writer

  1. It’s like you’re talking about me! I’ve gotten constructive criticism and it made me feel stupid – like I had no idea what I was doing. So now, whenever someone likes what I write, I wait around to hear everything that’s bad about it too. This fear of not being good enough has meant that I’ve spent years editing one story, instead of submitting it and attempting to have it published.

    Every time I edit, it feels like the story gets worse. I find more reasons why it’s not good enough. Perhaps it’s time to let a literary editor have a go. Perhaps it’s time to submit that book you’ve been nervous about.

    • I’m so glad I am not the only one, which I know I’m not anyway. Thousands of writers feel like this! But being a writer can be lonely, especially when you’re just alone with your stupid, negative thoughts. So those nagging silly remarks inside your head – or even worse from your friends – can kind of take over and make you feel rubbish.
      Glad we can struggle through together! But also love it at the same time, of course.

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